There's Yaoi at the End Of This Chapter!
by Hitoko-sama
Summary: Based off the sesame street book, " A monster at the end of this book." A wee bit of crack and a different pairing per chapter. YAOI!
1. Down With the Idea

**Ok this is the new idea for a fiction of the fanness. So I hope you enjoy it. There won't be any specific pairings just a lot of sex. Like A LOT. I was listening to Lady Gaga so you know, it will be beautiful. by the way there will be no commentary at the end so, you'll just have to deal.  
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Sasuke was bored. So bored in fact he was cleaning everything he could in Hitoko's house. She was always too busy thinking and writing yaoi, even when he computer was broke, to do any cleaning. Sasuke sometimes wondered if she showered. The Uchiha raised an eyebrow, had he ever seen her hair wet? Sasuke shuddered. That's disgusting. He walked by Hitoko's bed room door and heard the thumping of techno. She was obviously writing, Sasuke could tell from the lyrics about getting naked. Itachi was lucky, Sasuke thought. He just sat in Hitoko's room with her helping her write. Sasuke glared at the door as he turned off the vacuum. Naruto walked down the hall, the Uchiha noted the determination in the blonde's eyes. He stopped at Hitoko's door and knocked. No answer, not even a waver in how loud the music was. He knocked again, only this time louder; still nothing.

" Naruto what are you doing?" Sasuke asked slightly amused at the sight of his frustrated blonde. Naruto turned and looked at the Uchiha.

" Have you heard the idea of Hitoko's new fic?" Naruto asked, putting his hands on his hips. The Uchiha shook his head. " She's making a fic with yaoi at the end of every chapter!"

Sasuke stood silently, starring at the blonde before him. " Doesn't she mostly do that anyway?"

" Not like this, it has absolutely no plot and is just random crack, sex, and nonsense." He retorted.

" Yeah that sounds like her." Sasuke muttered. " And why is that bad?"

The blonde huffed and shook his head. " Because Hitoko controls us! Not anymore Sasuke! I'm putting my foot down, contract be damned."

" This is going to end horribly for you and greatly for me." Sasuke said as he opened Hitoko's door. She was sitting in a round chair by the wall. Her hair was throw up in a loose bun with her bangs drooping over her eyes. She looked determined as she scribbled down things on his pad of paper. She was taking notes on Itachi and Pein loving on each other. Naruto and Sasuke both blushed. Pein stopped, looking up from his lover's crotch, he licked his lips while glaring. Hitoko also looked up, she eyes narrowed to slits. Sasuke backed out of the room. Making it about halfway down the hall.

" Where are you going?" Naruto called.

" Oh I was going to go masturbate….I mean, ah fuck it I'ma go masturbate." Sasuke said running down the hall.

" I'll be there in a minute to observe Sasuke!" Hitoko yelled. " Now what is so important you have to disturb me Naruto?"

" I want you to cancel you new fic idea." The blonde said sternly. Hitoko laughed and shook her head. She stood up and put a hand on the blonde's shoulder, her grip tightened instantly, keeping him from moving.

" So that's the reason you stopped my professional note taking? Well let me tell you something, I was going to save your chapter for last but I guess you should watch you ass cause you're first and I assure you, yours will be the most sexually perverse and naughtiest. I'll have Sasuke see to it." Hitoko said snapping her fingers. The Uchiha placed his hand on Naruto's free shoulder and pulled him down the hallway. Hitoko waved as she closed the door, turning the music back on.

" I thought you were masturbating!" Naruto yelled, struggling in the Uchiha's arms.

" I was until I realized that I could just fuck your tight ass." Sasuke said tossing Naruto onto his bed. He shut and locked the door, throwing the key in the basket of dirty laundry. Naruto tried to get up again but Sasuke summoned some snakes and managed to bind his arms and legs. The blonde squirmed as Sasuke began to remove his clothes. He jumped onto the bed, kunai in hand. He cut the blonde's shirt down the middle and pulled the tattered remains off his torso. Sasuke threw the kunai away and dropped his head down, kissing Naruto's cheeks and neck, but not his mouth. The blonde turned his head to get the Uchiha to kiss his lips but that didn't help. The blonde whined. Sasuke smirked, planting soft kisses on his chest. The Uchiha paused above his nipples and then gave it a gentle bite.

Naruto arched as Sasuke toyed with the other nipple. He gave it firm flicks waiting until it was hard. Naruto was panting, still struggling against the snakes wrapped around his wrists. Sasuke whistled and the snakes on Naruto's legs slithered up Sasuke's arms. He smirked and dropped his hands onto the button on Naruto's pants. He unbuttoned the blonde's pants, pulling down his boxers with the pants. He tossed them to the side. Naruto was only half hard but Sasuke only smirked. He flipped his body so that his erection slipped into Naruto's mouth. The blonde blinked, Sasuke's cock had slipped in without a problem. He gave it a small suck as he felt Sasuke giving his a long lick. Naruto relaxed his throat and Sasuke's cocked slipped in more. The blonde bobbed his head, making the Uchiha's breath hitch. Naruto's arousal became stiffer with every passing sound that Sasuke let fall from his lips. Sasuke's tongue began to tease the blonde's entrance, only slipping in partially instead of all the way like Naruto craved. Sasuke pushed his tongue up making Naruto moan. His throat tightened and Sasuke erection was squeezed more. The Uchiha pulled his cock out and sat in between his lover's legs. The snakes on his arms hissed and started to descend down Sasuke's pale arms. Naruto whimpered as the snake's tongue flickered at his entrance. The Uchiha smirked.

" Tell me what you want." Sasuke said letting the snake push in slightly. The blonde moaned but the sensation stopped. " Tell me and we'll go further."

" I want you to fuck me." Naruto replied huskily. If Sasuke was a cat he would have purred at the response. The snake buried itself deeply inside Naruto, making him shake in pleasure. The scales rubbed against his insides creating a strangely wonderful feeling against his prostate. Naruto let out a strangled moan as the snake began to slither out and then back in. The half of the snake that was outside wrapped around the blonde's thigh, giving it leverage. The other snake hissed at Sasuke, so the Uchiha let it slither down onto the blonde's weeping erection.

" I hope you don't mind Naruto but my other pet wants to play too." Sasuke said watching the snake wrap itself around the blonde's cock. Naruto moaned as the scales slightly scratched his cock. It sent waves of pleasure down his spine. The snake's tongue flicked Naruto's head as it started to constrict and loosen on his cock. It wasn't long before the blonde released onto Sasuke's chest. All the snake's disappeared quickly after. Naruto moved his arms and rubbed his wrists. Sasuke swiftly flipped the blonde onto all fours, replacing the snake with a very swollen erection. The blonde moaned as he was filled deeply. Sasuke gripped Naruto's hips roughly, pulling him back, hard onto his cock. The blonde but his lip and pushed back himself. Sasuke pulled almost all the way out and shoved his cock in, repeating the motion. Naruto turned his head and Sasuke leaned into Naruto, stretching his neck forward to kiss his blonde. Sasuke's cock went deeper as his tongue pushed into Naruto's mouth. They wrapped and rubbed, pushing against each other as Sasuke thrusted. Naruto broke the kiss by throwing his head back and moaning. He whipped his body around so he was facing Sasuke and pushed him so he would be on his back. He climbed on top and started moving himself on Sasuke's cock. The Uchiha moaned as Naruto went up and down, making him go deep. Naruto's prostate felt so good and was probably going to be bruised after this. Sasuke gripped the blonde's waist, giving him a bit more balance. Sasuke moaned as he felt Naruto tighten. The blonde pushed himself down one final time before releasing again on Sasuke's chest. Sasuke stiffened and came into Naruto's still constricted hole. He stayed buried inside the blonde, thrusting while he rode out his orgasm.

" Wow, I got great notes from that!" Hitoko said with a smile. Naruto screamed and Sasuke blinked.

" How did you get in? I locked the door." Sasuke said, shoving Naruto off. The blonde starred at the author. Hitoko tossed a key at Sasuke.

" This is my house, I have more than one key for every room." She said shrugging. " This is Hitoko-Sama."

Hitoko got up from the chair she was sitting in and left. Sasuke sighed and rolled over. Naruto cuddled up to the Uchiha and they kissed a little.

" We'll never get any rest with Hitoko around will we?" Naruto asked, eyes hopeful.

" Nope." Sasuke said kissing Naruto's forehead. " Now how about a second round?"

Naruto started giggling as the Uchiha got on top of him, planting kisses on every ounce of exposed skin. And the cycle starts again.


	2. Whipped Cream

**Regular PV. **

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Sasuke walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. There wasn't really anything to eat that didn't require effort but Sasuke still remained hopeful that maybe today would yield easily prepared food. He frowned as his eyes passed over everything in the fridge. Itachi walked past him and jumped onto the counter. That's when Sasuke saw the whipped cream. He pulled it out and set it on the counter, Itachi grabbed it giving it a once over. His brother had such detestable eating habits. Sometimes he wondered how Sasuke wasn't fat. The Uchiha held out his hand and Itachi raised an eyebrow.

" Give it Itachi, there's nothing else expedient like this." Sasuke said as Itachi placed the can in his brother's hand. " Plus it's the good kind."

" You know Sasuke if you want white cream shot into your mouth you could have asked me." Itachi said. Sasuke glared as he removed the cap. He put the nozzle into his mouth and pressed down. White cream filled his mouth and Itachi licked his lips. Sasuke's mouth did look quite appetizing. The older jumped and started looking in the fridge. Itachi smirked, he could work with this. Sasuke left the kitchen and returned to his room.

Naruto had left to help Hitoko with more note taking, not that Sasuke minded, back to back lovers were very common in Hitoko's little world. Sasuke filled his mouth with more cream, savoring it for being not as sweet as most things. He licked his lips getting the cream that smeared the sides of his mouth. Sasuke pictured Itachi licking off the cream and blushed. He pictured Itachi's soft lips against his skin, licking and kissing. The Uchiha's pants tightened and he debated whether or not to get up and get his brother. Sasuke shook his head and placed the whipped cream on the side table next to his bed. He reached down to the button of his pants and unbuttoned it, pulling them down. He wrapped his hand around his arousal rubbing it until it was fully hard. He let out a shaky breath as he gripped his cock harshly applying a bit of pressure. He let out a strangled moan. Sasuke pictured Itachi's pale lips wrapping around his erection, then his brother moving his head and sucking perfectly. Sasuke panted as the images became more vivid.

Itachi opened the door to a delicious sight. He watched as Sasuke bit down on his lip as he rubbed his dripping cock.

" What a fantastic sight to be greeted with." Itachi mused as he set down a few things on the side table. Sasuke opened his eyes and stared at his older brother who was getting closer to him. He pushed Sasuke back, pinning his hands up against the headboard. Itachi used his free hand to reach over and grab a set of handcuffs from Sasuke's drawer. He cuffed Sasuke to the posts of the bed. The older Uchiha licked his lips at the sight of his naked brother. " Do you want a treat Sasuke?"

" Yes." He muttered wanton. It sent chills down Itachi's spine. Itachi undid his pants letting them fall off his hips. He sat down on Sasuke's bed and grabbed the can of whipped cream, spraying it all the way up his arousal. Sasuke whimpered as the threat was placed in front of his lips. The younger opened his mouth, craning his neck forward taking licks of the cream. Itachi gripped the headboard, arching as Sasuke cleaned his dick. He took in Itachi fully, sucking the cream off. The sweetness of it mixed with the saltiness of Itachi's skin and pre-cum, making it an even tastier treat for Sasuke. The younger's eyes glanced up at Itachi who just happened to look down at the same time. The sheer sexiness of Sasuke's expression made Itachi's cock twitch. The older began to thrust hiss hips and all Sasuke could do was relax his throat to accommodate the massive cock being pushed down his throat. The younger flexed the muscles in his throat as he licked the veins on the underside of Itachi's cock. Itachi pulled his cock out of Sasuke's mouth, even though Sasuke was complaining for it to be put back in. Itachi silenced him with his lips.

" I think its time I got a treat, don't you agree?" Itachi asked grabbing the chocolate and caramel sauces. He poured them on Sasuke's chest and he trailed them down to Sasuke's dripping cock. He grabbed the whipped cream and sprayed some one his nipples and cock. He finished his treat off with cherries placed gently on each nipple. " Oh no, I don't know where to start."

Itachi ran his finger down the middle of Sasuke's chest, cleaning off a path. The older licked his finger, sucking on it 'til it was nice and wet. Sasuke licked his lips as he watched Itachi drop his finger lower to his entrance. Sasuke arched at the intrusion, and Itachi seized the opportunity to lick the mess off Sasuke's chest, while it was still up in the air. Itachi cleared a good bit of Sasuke's chest until he reached one of Sasuke's cherries. Itachi used his tongue to scoop it off into his mouth. His tongue barely touched the nipple but Itachi could tell it was painfully hard. Itachi licked off the whipped cream and thrusted his finger to the time of his sucks. Sasuke moaned, his fingers wrapped around the cuffs, causing the metal to dent his fingers. Itachi moved to the other nipple, clearing it as he had previously. Sasuke turned his head moaning into his arm. The older continued to clean off his brother's stomach and shoved in a second finger inside, smirking at Sasuke's small whimper. Itachi went lover and noticed that he had finally reached his brother's cock. The older Uchiha licked his lips as he wrapped his mouth around his brother's hard cock. Itachi cleared it within a few sucks but the taste of the sweets and salty pre-cum made Itachi moan a little. Sasuke bit down onto his arm, he couldn't handle being fingered and blow like this. It was far too much to take. Sasuke came into Itachi's mouth, screaming his brother's name to the high heavens. Itachi took that as a good sign to add a third finger. Itachi cleaned off all the cum and Sasuke watched with morbid fascination how well Itachi's tongue moved. He could feel himself getting hard again.

" Do you want it Sasuke?" Itachi asked, thrusting his fingers deeper. " Do you want me to fuck you?"

" Yes!" Sasuke moaned.

" Yes what?" Itachi asked, abusing his brother's prostate.

" Yes please fuck me, pretty fucking please with a cherry on top." Sasuke yelled. Itachi leaned forward, planting small kisses where ever he could.

" God you're so fucking sexy when you're begging for it." The older Uchiha said pulling out his fingers. He kissed Sasuke when he thrusted into him. The younger's screams were suppressed by Itachi's strong tongue. Sasuke tear-up a little but ignored the pain by savoring the taste of Itachi's tongue. It still tasted slightly of his cum. Itachi started to thrust and broke the kiss to hear his brother's sounds. Itachi started slow, giving Sasuke time. But Sasuke started to tighten and clench more signaling he was ready to get more serious. Itachi still was slow but he did increase pressure, making sure to press hard against Sasuke's little pleasure button. Sasuke began letting out hot strangled moans. Itachi then began to speed up giving Sasuke hard, fast strokes. The younger started to push back against Itachi, making him go deeper. He would also tighten randomly adding to the pleasure racing down Itachi's spine. He threw Sasuke's leg over his shoulder and started to fuck Sasuke even harder, knowing he would go even deeper now.

" Itachi!" Sasuke screamed as he threw his head back. " More!"

Itachi complied going deeper and faster. He brushed Sasuke's prostate with twice the force, bringing tears to Sasuke's eyes. Itachi felt his orgasm coming and he gripped Sasuke's weeping arousal. He pumped it in time to his thrusts. Sasuke was over the edge in no time. The added tightness of Sasuke's entrance caused Itachi to spill his cum into hiss brother's waiting ass. Sasuke's blushed deepened when the hot fluid filled him. That's when they heard a 'thud' behind them. They looked to see a very bloody Hitoko and extremely aroused blonde.

" We're going to have to call the hospital again aren't we?" Sasuke asked as Itachi undid the cuffs.

" Judging by the amount of blood I would say so." Naruto said. " Damn her and her yaoi loving nose bleeds."

" This was Hitoko-Sama." Itachi muttered dialing 9-1-1.


	3. THE CURE

**Hurray yet another chapter, I hope you enjoy!! REGULAR PV**

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The ambulance pulled into the driveway and the paramedics sighed. This was the tenth call this month. They calmly knocked on the door, waiting for whatever sex crazed person to open it. One of the EMT's shuddered thinking about when he first answered a call from this address. Itachi opened the door, fully clothed and let the paramedics come inside. Surprisingly, no one in the house was having any kind of sex, they were all too worried about Hitoko-Sama. Itachi led them to Hitoko, who was still lying in a pool of her own blood. They paramedics sighed and placed her on the cart. They pulled her out and into the ambulance. Pein and Itachi got into the back with her.

" Sasuke," Itachi yelled throwing the keys to his brother, " Follow us in my car."

Sasuke, Naruto, Gaara, and Lee all piled into Itachi's car. They took off after the ambulance.

They reached the hospital a little after the ambulance arrived. Itachi and Pein sat in the waiting room, practicing their patience. The four others took their seats as well. A doctor came into the waiting area with a chart. She looked up from the chart and stared. She sighed before sitting down.

" Hello Botan." Itachi said to the woman. Botan shook her head as she looked at every single man. She stood back up, regaining her blank composure.

" As you know, Hitoko has a pre-determined condition to get extremely bad nosebleeds when something is super sexy." She said pushing her hair out of her eyes, " But as usual Hitoko has defied the doctors, yet again, and lost too much blood. She lost so much blood that now she's in a coma."

" A COMA?!" Everyone yelled together. Botan nodded flipping through the chart again. There was nothing else to say so Botan turned on her heel and started to walk away. Itachi got out of his chair and grabbed her arm, pulling her back.

" How long will she be in a coma?" Itachi asked. She shrugged.

" It could be a matter of minutes or it could be decades. It all depends on her brain activity. But, and don't quote me on this, she will probably wake up when we get enough blood in her." Botan said before leaving the waiting area.

There was a long silence. Everyone was digesting all this new information about there beloved Hitoko-Sama.

" Has anyone else noticed that Botan looks suspiciously similar to Hitoko-Sama and that every time we are here, they're never in the same place at one time?" Lee asked. Everyone nodded then stopped. " Oh my god, Hitoko is fucking with us."

" Well there's only one real way to find out." Pein said pulling Itachi along. " We'll be back in a minute children."

They all sat there silently wondering what Pein could be plotting.  
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Itachi, at first, didn't think Pein's plan was very smart until he really started to think about it. Hitoko loved yaoi, a lot. And if Pein and Itachi were going at it Hitoko would have to watch, especially if she was faking. It was actually quite brilliant.

Pein shoved Itachi into the abandoned bed next to Hitoko's. They had opened the curtain that separated the bed so that if she was faking, she could see. The heavily pierced man began removing all of their pesky clothing. Itachi blushed as he looked over at Hitoko, her eyes were still closed and she didn't seem to be responding. Pein ran his hands down Itachi's soft stomach. The muscles twitched under the touch and he began to kiss the exposed skin. The Uchiha started to breathe heavily and become more and more aroused with each kiss. Pein worked his way up and his work was rewarded with a more than eager kiss on the lips. His tongue pressed in, wrapping and dominating his lover's. The Uchiha moaned into the kiss as he felt Pein's fingers running down his body. His hand ended up at Itachi's arousal. His hands worked quickly, going up and down, making sure Itachi was as hard as possible. The heavily pierced man broke the kiss and trailed down Itachi's body. He licked around the Uchiha's erection, not touching it directly. He moved closer to Itachi's entrance. Pein gave it a long, loving lick before he shoved his tongue inside. Itachi moaned loudly. He had to cover his mouth so they didn't draw any unwanted attention.

Pein thrusted his tongue in and out. Itachi's cock wept with pre-cum and the heavily pierced one rubbed it quickly, using the pre-cum as lubrication. Pein decided that Itachi was more than ready for more. He thrusted in a finger, curling it up and pushing it deep. The Uchiha was panting harshly by this point and it was only made worse when Pein decided that he would add another two fingers, instead of one. He thrust them harshly making white and black spots dance in Itachi's vision. The Uchiha bit his lip to silence his bliss. Pein thrust his fingers hard making sure to really stretch his lover. Itachi was already pushing back against them signaling he wanted more. Pein got bored and pulled his fingers out . He positioned himself at Itachi's entrance and rubbed the tip against him, teasing Itachi. He pressed in the tip and then pulled his hips back, shoving his cock deeply inside Itachi. The Uchiha screamed and Pein clamped a hand over his mouth to silence him. He shushed his lover as he thrusted gently, letting him get used to the massive amount of erection inside him. Itachi moaned and Pein removed his hand, trusting that the Uchiha could control his sounds. He whimpered in pleasure, the heavily pierced one smirked knowing that he would cum very soon. Luckily he had planned for this. He pulled a ring off of his finger and placed it firmly around the base of Itachi's cock. The Uchiha moaned feeling his orgasm being blocked. The pain began to build up making Itachi's eyes tear up.

" Maybe if you pleasure me well, I'll take it off." Pein said with a smirk. He pulled out of the Uchiha. Itachi got onto Pein's lap. The Uchiha grabbed his lover's erection and pushed it into himself. He arched, making Pein go so much deeper. His cock brushed right against Itachi's prostate, making the Uchiha see spots. Pein smirked and grabbed onto his lover's small hips. Itachi started to move, going up then back down on the massive erection. He moaned into Pein's shoulder, trying to muffle his cries of pleasure. The cock ring seemed to be getting even tighter, Itachi whimpered but tried not to think about it. Pein grunted when he felt Itachi clench around his erection. The heavily pierced man's mouth connected to the Uchiha's neck, giving his love bites and marks whenever he clenched. Itachi started to move faster, descending on the cock more. It was going much deeper than it was before. The Uchiha gripped Pein's shoulders, digging into them with his nails, he earned small grunts from the man under him. Itachi moaned when he felt Pein's hot cum fill him.

Pein pushed Itachi onto his hands and knees. The sight of his hot seed dripping out of the Uchiha's hole made Pein hard once more. The heavily pierced one took off the cock ring while he slid into Itachi. The Uchiha buried his face in the pillow, noting that it smelled like astringent, and screamed with absolute pleasure as Pein plowed into him with great force. The Uchiha moaned when he felt a stinging sensation on his cheeks. He looked back to see Pein's hand connecting to his already red butt cheek. Pein was spanking him. And he wasn't holding back either. A loud smack filled the air and Itachi dug his fingers into the mattress to keep from screaming. Itachi came hard. Pein smirked feeling the added tightness. He thrusted harder, making Itachi's arms fail him. His ass was high in air and Pein used the position to go even deeper inside Itachi. The Uchiha moaned when he was filled for a second time. Pein thrusted a few more time, riding out his orgasm, before he pulled out.

" WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" Botan yelled as she walked into the room. The two of them stopped and looked over at Hitoko's bed, she remained unchanged. Both men looked back at each other, shrugged, and got dressed calmly. Botan's face was so red with either anger or embarrassment that she just left the room.

" Well I guess that means Hitoko wasn't messing with us." Pein said buttoning his pants. Itachi nodded but was surprised when Botan reentered the room without security.

" Quick you two I have an announcement to make in front of everyone." Botan said as she pushed the pair out of the room, down the stairs, and into the waiting room. She smiled as Itachi and Pein took their seats. " Everyone, I have great news, I know how to wake Hitoko from her coma."

Everyone gasped and listened with wide open ears.

" The cure is all of you have to make sweet hot love to each other. After I caught those two in the act I noticed that Hitoko's brain waves were far more responsive than before. Which means her cure is yaoi. Now get to work boys." Botan said leaving the area. Sasuke pulled out his cell phone and dialed quickly.

" What're you doing?" Itachi asked.

" Calling reinforcements, this is going to take a lot of loving." Sasuke responded waiting for Suigetsu to pick up his phone.

" This was Hitoko-Sama." Gaara said getting his first lines of the fic.

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**There is a pattern that I've noticed, if anyone can tell me what it is I'll give you yaoi!!!**


	4. Hehehe

Hehe...sorry everyone. I totally forgot about this fic since It got buried under some of my other finished work...and since its completely plotless and unimportant, I'll get to it eventually...

Love and Yaoi  
Hitoko-Sama

oh and if you have a pairing request just shout it out for me. We need to wake me from this coma, ya hear?


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